Whatcha got in there?

This tropical shot of Behati Prinsloo modeling D&G's new fanny pack got me thinking:

What exactly would a model need to have at constant arms-length while strutting around the beach?

- A test-tube shot of tequila?

(To dull the pain of wearing a fanny pack in public.)

- Instructions on how to get to the water? 

(AKA: "Turn to your left," scribbled on a credit card receipt.)

- Cash-moneyz to buy a fake D&G fanny pack from the beach vendors? 

(To be promptly folded up and shoved into the real fanny pack... "Natural selection" and whatnot.)

- The new issue of Vogue?   

(If that's the case, and you bent that shit, keep an eye out for Anna Wintour's bobble-headed ass poking out from behind the bushes... She's on to you.)

...Huh.

Now that I've given it some thought, I guess there actually are a great-many things for which a beach-side model can use a fanny pack.

Noticably absent from the list, however?

- Looking good.

But then, that's not what fashion's all about... right?