Heidi, I hate you.

You know, I yearn for the days when life was more simple.

Take for instance, the existence and continued fame of Heidi Montag:

Wasn't it just so much more fun when we could all just hate her and her d-bag husband for being worthless, crass fame-hunters?

... Well, those days are gone. And I'm pretty pissed.

You see, now I'm all full of this strange mixture of pity and revulsion towards her... and it's making my stomach hurt.

Because this?

... is not how human beings are supposed to look.

If she was trying for "sexy," she should have just fashioned a face-mask (including a bubble-beard) for herself out of those suds.

It would have made this picture more palatable for the general public.