Painting a pretty picture...

 

Here's Maggie Gyllenhaal on the red carpet, wearing a blue Dries Van Noten dress.

I think Maggie looks pretty. That's about it. 

I mean, the colors are pretty, the painterly print is semi-pretty, and while her make-up is horrendous, it's overall not too much of a disaster of a red carpet appearance, I guess.

...Hmm.. "not too much of a disaster." 

*Loses it*

Bitch, this is the Oscars, and you look like you're wearing the first dress handed to you that wasn't offensively ugly. 

Couldn't you have looked for just a little while longer? I'm sure you would have found the perfect dress that suited your unconventional beauty while still maintaining a high level of Hollywood glamour. 

It's out there, you just have to look for it.

This? Aint it.

*Long sigh*

...To show you how it's done, here's Rachel McAdams clad in Elie Saab:

 

Now this is what a "somewhat unconventional, painting-printed" red-carpet gown should look like.

Are the colors a little blah? Yeah, sure. 

But when your skin is flawless to the point of almost mimicking a fresh white canvas, you can get away with less-than-popping colors. 

It looked like a watercolor painting flowing across the red carpet. 

And the bodice? To die. 

So pretty. So unexpected. 

There were no other dresses on that carpet that looked like this one.

She's A-list in my eyes. 

But then, I do wear contacts, so feel free to disagree.