Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Which Do You Prefer?

Window A: 
The Colorful Shag Carpet Quartet

Window B:
The Paper Manufacturer's Daughters

Seeing how each of these models look about ready to pounce off the runway and ho-check my face, I'm gonna have to choose wisely here...

Rug-burn may be a total bitch, but it's nothing compared to the nerve-splitting hell that is paper-cuts.  

China Fashion Week

"Thierry Mugler and John Galliano had baby... which turned out to be Chinese."

That's the most succinct explanation of Guo Pei's stunning Fall 2010 collection that I could come up with.

Derivative is an ugly word that shouldn't occupy the same space as this beauty, so I'll just say that they're out of control, over-the-top feats of construction reminiscent of other designer's work.

But if you ask me, the real meat of China Fashion Week was to be found on the runway of the Hempel Award Young Fashion Designers contest.

(If you are prone to seizures, you might wanna duck out of this one.)

Whoever this young designer is, I hope he/she won the shit out of that prize.

Now, I think I'm gonna go vomit from the fabulousness... and the dizzying lines.

(So worth it.)


If my mind was a magazine, then these shots of Amy Thompson's Spring '09 collection could have been ripped from the "Definitions: futuristic" page.

I know I'm kinda late for the bus on this one, but I didn't have a blog back then. And these photos are way too beautiful and entrancing to be left alone.

Granted, if I were to actually see this woman on my doorstep in the middle of the night, I would probably throw a shoe at her.

(I mean, she looks like a photo negative of Gogo Yubari's demonic ass. I would be startled.)

Monday, March 29, 2010

Breaking News

Katy Perry is a Gay Man.

... How else would you explain how every single outfit she chooses makes me want to get onto my tip-toes, strut over to her stylist, and whisper, "One for me too!" into her ear?

Seen here in her Kid's Choice Awards outfit, from The Blonds' 2010 collection with matching Louboutins, Katy Perry hit up that orange carpet like a bright splash of Gay!

Sparkles and rainbows may be in short supply for some, but she is carrying.

I don't need drugs, Katy Perry. I just need you to make sure to keep forgetting to take your medication.

Also? Major points for the acrylic hair. Now you just need to whip it off while lip-syncing to Beyonce, and you'll be an official, card-carrying member of the club.


That's the only term I can come up with for these two gems that have recently busted into my life.

The above, a ripped tee from Balmain, retails for $1,625.

Now, stop reading... Grab a pair of scissors, head to your closet, and choose a victim.

There, I've just saved your ass from having to pay almost two grand for a shirt that you could buy on any street corner from any wandering crackhead. (No Lindsay Lohan jokes, please.)

I mean, for seriously?

Talk about picking up a trend at the height of it's popularity (or not) and bitch-slapping it into next week with a markup so astounding that I was left cradling my poor, shivering wallet while pledging my undying protection.

(It's Gucci from about four years ago. It's seen a lot of fuckery, but I'm sure the jolt of purchasing this item would push it over the edge. It would simply crumple up in my hands, leaving behind nothing more than two somber G's, staring back at me with confusion and shame...)

Moving on to classier affairs, here's the new "Live Young" tee from Evian.

Now, this shirt already ranks higher than the Balmain, just for the simple fact that it isn't actually being sold. It was created for the European ads for the brand.

Still though, confusion reigns.

I get the whole "Live Young," slogan and how it suggests that, by drinking their special water, we will all feel like kids again...

...But I had no idea that they meant, like little kids.

The last time I checked?

Wearing diapers, having stilted motor functions, and being fed regularly by the higher-ups was not the good life. And I'm sure I don't need to bring in the resident "Angry Granny" from the Retirement Home down the street to tell you that.

Really, there's just no need for either of these shirts.

As it is, society already has a way of knowing who will pay too much for a crappy t-shirt and who lacks the basic skills of most functioning adults:

Ed Hardy, I salute you. Now more than ever.

Friday, March 26, 2010


Using images taken from fashion magazines and runway photographs, Yvette Yunjung Yang (gotta love that alliteration) has crafted a complete fashion-pictorial alphabet!

She has archives of different alphabet sets corresponding to each season, past and present.

I think this is amazing.

(Click through the images to see the details of each!)

But, as always, I'm feeling the need to be cute, so I'll share my initial reaction:

Suck it, Fashion.

... Did your sweet tooth just go limp and drop to the floor in an overwrought display of fashion-related dramatics?

Yeah. So did mine.

These lollipops, shot by still life photographer Massimo Gammacura, are colorful, sugary-sweet, and pretty much the most fashionable things you can put past your lips.

That is, unless your name happens to be Lorenzo Martone... (Zing!)

They come in flavors Haughty, Stuck-Up, Pretentious, and Better-Than-You...

No, but really, just take a look at them and you'll be able to suss out the flavors for yourself!

Obviously, these are not meant for actual human consumption. 

Instead, simply dangle them around your mouth-area while giving mean-spirited smirks to the BlowPop and Dum-dum-licking scrubs around you.

... They'll know what's up.

Leather and Lace

Here's Emma Watson stepping out in New York City for the LONDON show ROOMS cocktail party, wearing a dress from the Christopher Kane Fall 2010 collection.

To be honest, my first viewing of this collection left me completely underwhelmed.

In fact, when discussing it with a friend, I remarked that Kane had seemingly managed "to find the link between schoolmarm and 7-year-old girl."

Well, interestingly enough, I couldn't think of a more apt description for Hermione Granger's personal style aesthetic.

As a result, her wearing a dress from the collection actually looks pretty good to my eyes.

Ignoring both her "I want to pistol-whip my stylist" expression and apparent disregard for hair and makeup, the rough-looking leather and colorful, girlish embroidery provide a pretty high level of interest, especially for a cocktail dress.

And the actual length of the skirt, (ie: pretty damn short) manages to avoid making her look like the Whore of Hogwarts, due to her more-or-less covered up top half.

(But take away that lace and those little sleeves, and homegirl would seriously look ready to turn some tricks in exchange for spells... Just sayin'.)

Sure, the wonky bustline might make it seem like she only brought the lower half of her boobs with her to the party...

But the overall look, while somewhat confusing, is still kinda pretty in a very British way.

In other words, the perfect outfit for Hermione Granger!

Now if only there was a spell for getting rid of bitchface...

Thursday, March 25, 2010


This image, from The Sartorialist, was taken off the streets of Milan.

See, this is why I would throw a pebble at a baby duckling for the chance to live in Europe again.

(... And I hope that little ducky has a major credit card and traveler's checks on his person, cuz I would need to do some serious shopping before showing my face on the Milano scene...)

Really though, do you see how everything about her ensemble is working overtime for this woman?

Hell, even her unruly hair curl seems to mimic the ruffles on that ridiculously fabulous coat.

Hmm... On second thought, maybe it's a good thing I don't live in Italy, because if I were to see this on the streets? I would totally fag-out and ask for her autograph...

"Can you just sign it, Beautiful-Amazingness?"

... But ehh, but you know what they say:
You haven't fully experienced a culture until you've seen what the inside of it's holding cells look like!

Turkish Delight

Recently, a considerable amount of the love that I had for Canadian supermodel Jessica Stam had been dwindling.

Her new (severely downgraded) runway walk and misguided boob job even had me questioning whether or not she still held court as the Queen Bee of Modeldom in my mind...

Yes, that's how my mind works. And the hierarchy is as follows:

Jessica Stam - Queen of Strut  (for her runway walk)
Coco Rocha - Princess of Pose  (for her editorial capabilities.) 
Lara Stone - Duchess of Angry-Fierceness  (for her amazing bitchface)

Getting back to the point of this post, however, she just hadn't inspired or excited me in a long time.

... Then, I took a look at the flagship issue of Vogue Turkey, and the love came rushing back.

 [Click Through for Full-Size Images.]

The teased-hair, the metallics, the accessories, the shoes, the girl.

I love it all.

I just hope she keeps this momentum up and continues to get booked for shoots and shows like she used to.


Current "It-Girl" Abbey Lee Kershaw also recently shot a cover, for Vogue Korea.

... Do you see the distinction?

This is why Jessica Stam cannot fade into obscurity.

Because Whore-Beast Corpse Brides are waiting in the wings to crawl up and take her place!

(Editor's Note: I have actually grown to love Abbey Lee... but that shot is still horrifying.)

Muse as Icons

Frank Sinatra

For the April 2010 issue of L'Officiel Hommes China, male supermodel (and muse to Karl Lagerfeld) Baptiste Giabiconi was done up like famous rock music icons of the past and present.

Now, the guy is definitely a gorgeous creature, so I wasn't the slightest bit concerned that he was gonna look bad, per se...

But the actual results of the photoshoot definitely varied on the editorial scale, from sexy/suave, as seen above, to unflattering/hilarious. 

Just wait and see:

Jim Morrison


Michael Jackson

David Bowie

These are some great photographs. 

The essence of each of the icons is perfectly captured, and Baptiste really does look reminiscent, if not flat-out just like each of them.

And the boy's got cheekbones for daaays. I love it.

Then, however, the editorial came to a crashing, giggle-inducing halt:

Lady. Effing. Gaga.


I'm not going to debate whether or not Lady Gaga has yet earned a place among the greats listed above, but what I will debate is whether this idea was brilliant or incredibly stupid...

... and so far, I'm falling on the side of brilliant

The claws, the hair-bow, the legs spread open... it's all just totally en pointe.


That? Is not Lady Gaga.

That is Anna Wintour.

I know that I seem to bring her up alot these days, but I mean seriously

I had no idea that she and Baptiste shared the same nose!

And the bob, people. The bob.

There's really nothing left for me to say here... I'll show myself out.


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Whatcha got in there?

This tropical shot of Behati Prinsloo modeling D&G's new fanny pack got me thinking:

What exactly would a model need to have at constant arms-length while strutting around the beach?

- A test-tube shot of tequila?

(To dull the pain of wearing a fanny pack in public.)

- Instructions on how to get to the water? 

(AKA: "Turn to your left," scribbled on a credit card receipt.)

- Cash-moneyz to buy a fake D&G fanny pack from the beach vendors? 

(To be promptly folded up and shoved into the real fanny pack... "Natural selection" and whatnot.)

- The new issue of Vogue?   

(If that's the case, and you bent that shit, keep an eye out for Anna Wintour's bobble-headed ass poking out from behind the bushes... She's on to you.)


Now that I've given it some thought, I guess there actually are a great-many things for which a beach-side model can use a fanny pack.

Noticably absent from the list, however?

- Looking good.

But then, that's not what fashion's all about... right?


If you know good music, chances are you know of La Roux.

Fronted by singer Elly Jackson, this electro-pop duo's calling-card is their catchy hooks, dreamy lyrics, and a fiercely original style.

And Elly also happens to be a budding fashion icon.

Unlike Rihanna, who I feel tasks her outfits with speaking for her because she herself has nothing worthwhile to say,

Elly Jackson seems to use her clothing, much like her music, as an organic medium through which she can express herself artistically.

... And I'm sure if you asked her about it, she'd just say that she "wears what she wears."

In other words: A true fashionista.

Did You Notice
1. No dresses.
2. No heels.
3. The deliberate recycling of an accessory. (Scandal!)

I mean, the girl obviously doesn't shy away from androgyny, psychedelic color, or the oft-maligned faux-hawk... 

But she provides the worlds of both music and fashion with something fresh and new.

And not in the "Oh, I've never seen a toaster used as a face-mask!" manner of Lady Gaga.   

In other words, Elly:

You promise to keep on singing and styling, and I'll promise to keep a watchful ear/eye out.