Jimmy Choo Light-Up Heels: $2,500
These pumps from Jimmy Choo may cost you two-and-a-half G's, but how many other pairs of shoes come with a built-in light show in the heel?
It's almost as if the shoe designer read up on my childhood, saw the janky old pair of light-up British Knights that I had in first grade, and thought to himself:
"Hmm... well that kid obviously turned out to be gay. I wonder what I could come up with that would hopelessly ensnare his flaming little heart upon his entrance into adulthood?"
It must have been a short line of thought that led him to this final product.
Well, Mr. Choo, I have but one thing to say to you: