Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sugary-Sweet Fashion Recap


If you can read (which is a pretty safe assumption) then you've probably already worked out that this Fashion Recap is gonna focus on that late-90's diamond-in-the-rough (or is it candy-in-the-throat?) teen comedy, "Jawbreaker."

Now, this is one of those peculiar movies where, upon initial viewing, you are somehow left with the impression that all of the leads were dressed in candy-colored, head-to-toe ferocity.

Then, when you take a look back, you realize that these girls do not look like teenagers at school, but rather over-the-hill hookers dressed in grossly inappropriate, tacky rags.

Some more than others, of course.

(Vylette, I'm looking your way. In fact, I have a special area at the end reserved for your sartorial missteps, and it aint pretty.)

But let's get started with the "Flawless Four," shall we?


Again, these are not girls at school.

These are some women who are ready for a night of prowling the bars for guys to buy them "just one more drink..."

Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you. 

In fact, I think it's kinda great.

But then... This happened:


Which is the obvious cue for the "dorky girl" to receive a full-on makeover, resulting in...

Fugness. In pink. Lots of it.

Observe:

 The Franken-Beauty is born.


An elegant, pink swan... Or is it a goose?


And she's wearing her grand-mammy's heels and tights! Tres chic.


Ruling. The. School.
In neon pink lingerie... Yeah.


Shiny pink over a different shade of shiny pink? Genius!


Lookin' hawt in her sexy new diaper!

The grace of a Pink Lady crossed with the posture of an aging Biker Slut. 
(... I think I'm in love.)


Best. Movie Makeover. Ever.

Vylette, I salute you... Even if only for that last ensemble.

I hope you don't mind if I try to recreate it next Halloween! 

Flash-Foward to: 

"I'm an Electroshock Therapy Cyndi Lauper... You like?"

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