Monday, May 3, 2010

Deathly Fashion Recap

"Death Becomes Her" was a 1992 movie that focused on Hollywood's obsession with youth and beauty.

The two main characters of the film, Madeline and Helen, (played by Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn,) were a couple of women who defined the term "frenemies" a full decade and a half before it became part of the Hollywood lexicon.

Their nicknames for each other? "Mad" and "Hel."

To make a long story short, the two women (unbeknownst to each other) both end up drinking a potion, administered by a fabulously-dressed cougar named Lisle, that not only shaves years off of their appearances, but also causes them to live forever.

... Well, the two frenemies wind up trying to "kill" each other, only to realize that each is invulnerable.  

I believe the term, "Battle Royale" is applicable here...

Let's start with Madeline, whose sartorial plan-of-attack on her "friend" consists of:

Power suits, sweat suits, and silk suits... A product of her decade, for sure.

Helen, on the other hand:

... Counter-attacks with elegant, body-hugging formal wear that is much more agreeable, at least when looked upon through the "retrospective" fashion lens.

(In other words: These were killer looks then, and they're killer looks now.)

But of course, the battle ends in a truce, with our two beauties making nice:

(After a gunshot-to-the-stomach and a shovel-to-the-head, of course.)

The real contender here is their potion-dealer, who pistol-whips both of their asses with these stunning ensembles:

Ginormous collars, ridiculous head-pieces, and a "blouse" made entirely out of jewels.

Who needs to live forever? I'd be happy with just one lifetime full of such opulence.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

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