V-Headed

This post is gonna focus on the many covers of V Magazine that have somehow left their models looking as though they're about to join Marie Antoinette for tea and gossip...

Meaning: That damn V is tryin' to lop a trick's head off!

Seriously though, this triflin' letter obviously can't handle sharing the cover-spotlight with anyone else, and will stop at nothing to get a taste of the solo shine...

 It looks like Brad is putting up his fists in a show of machismo, but in actuality, he's just trying his best to grab a-hold of that murderous consonant...

True to the punk-rawk styling of her cover, Natalie's eyes seem to be saying:

"This V doesn't know me. I shaved my hair off for a role, so off with my head. I'll still be just as gorgeous, with or without."

...And she's probably right.

Luckily for the Lady, the glossy sheen on the yellow V made it nearly impossible to gain any traction on that fake-tan-slathered mug.

... Can I still fit in a "Poker Face" joke here? 

Err, I guess the question should be: Should I?

(The answer to both: No.)

Fearlessly shoving her face right into danger's jaws, Grace Jones is obviously well-aware of who she is.

(And that it would take a lot more than that to bring her ginormous ass down.)

Catherine McNeil has been in this industry awhile, and knows how to deal with a bitch who wants your head.

(Hence, the well-chosen leather gloves. Better grip.)

Okay, I will not make a joke about how Precious's head is too big for the V to effectively attack.

... Aw, dammit.

Don't blame the V for trying to decapitate Gwen Stefani, it seriously thought she was Madonna...

(Lot's of unresolved issues with the whole "Virgin" angle she took to in the eighties, made worse by the popularity of "Vogue.")

Someone's got letter-envy.

***

Well, luckily for all of the pretty celebrities, our homicidal Vixen was unsuccessful in her attempts to rid the world of a pretty face.

But to be honest, it's not really the celebs that I'm worried about at this point...

"U" and "W"? 

Watch your backs.

V knows where you live... Right next door.