Monday, May 3, 2010

The 2010 Met Ball, Part 2

"The Real Belles of the Ball..."

Here's Jennifer Lopez in a stunning Calvin Klein gown.

Quite a few words sprang to mind when I first set eyes on this dress:

Intricate, unique, elegant, jaw-dropping, captivating...  

I could go on, but I'm afraid I would quickly begin to sound like a Gay Thesaurus.

... But yeah, there's really not much left to say here.

(My joke-well dried up after I set my eyes on this gorgeous bitch... Just give me a minute to splash a glass of water in someone's face and I'll be liquid again in no time!)

Score: 10/10

Next, we have Blake Lively rocking the hell out of a blue Marchesa mini-dress.

The color is vibrant and sexy, her slicked-back hair is perfection, and those gorgeous details combine for a look that really just knocks it out of the park.

I love how the ornate patterns of those ruffles are reminiscent of both flowering fauna and the rippling sea... (Two elements for the price of one!)

Really, though, this is absolutely gorgeous.

This is the kind of dress that makes you wanna walk right up to it's wearer for a closer inspection, regardless of the fact that doing so might get you tasered.

For this dress, it's a risk I'd be willing to take.

Score: 9/10

Moving on, here's Jessica Szohr wearing cream-and-black gown by Versace.

I may not have any idea who Miss Szohr is, but now I'll be sure to remember her... not by name, mind you, but instead as:

"That one girl who wore that really pretty Versace dress to the Met Ball."

Hey, there are far worse things one could be remembered for...

(Everyone wave to Bitch-Black Bella! )

Score: 8/10

Finally, we have Gisele Bundchen, wearing a skin-tight Alexander Wang mini-dress.

You know, there's a very short list of women who could pull a look like this off.

(Luckily for her, Gisele's name is right at the very top of said list.)

I'm really digging the slinky, serpentine quality of this look, but those limp tassels hanging from the hem look kinda like... impotent black earthworms.

(And not particularly cute ones, either.)

Still though, this is a look that was not going to be seen on the body of any other person in attendance at that event, and there's most definitely something to be said for that.

Sexy and unique are synonymous with success in my book!

Score: 8/10

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