The 2010 Met Ball, Part 1

The time has come for The Costume Institute Gala Benefit, which celebrates the opening of the "American Woman: Fashioning a Nation Identity" exhibition and is held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City.

It's all very nice, of course, but what really matters to me is the fact that the brightest and hottest stars showed up and showed out on the event's red carpet.

(To keep things tidy, I'm gonna organize the looks by grouping them into posts according to their varying levels of sartorial-success.)

The connecting theme of this post?

"Almost, But Not Quite... Except for you, Kristen Stewart. You just fail."

Here's Emma Watson in a white, custom-made Burberry creation.

While this dress initially struck me as elegant and pretty, a prolonged look at the details leaves me unimpressed.

That draping fabric doesn't really seem to have any rhyme or reason to it's placement and structure, giving the impression that it was just wrapped around her body and stapled into place.

(Love the mirrored clutch, though.)

Score: 6/10

Next, we have Jessica Biel in a vintage Ralph Lauren dress.

Again, this is a case of: "Pretty at first glance, falls apart at second."

It's a beautiful gown in a delicious fabric, but that draping along the bust looks a little... lopsided and inelegant to me.

I totally get the point of what it's trying to do, but all it makes me wanna do is walk up to Jessica and fiddle it into place.

Score: 7/10

Now we have Taylor Swift, who also opted for Ralph Lauren.

This is classic and classy.

... But easily classifiable as such, as well.

It kinda bothers me that there's no real element of surprise to it...

But then, I guess nobody ever said that "surprise" is a prerequisite for successful red carpet attire.

Plus, she looks like a straight-up movie star, so I really have no pieces of bitch-fruit to throw at her.

Score: 8/10

(Sigh... This bitch.)

Here's Kristen Stewart wearing a black Chanel dress.

On the plus side, it's nice to see that she's staying loyal to her soon-to-be trademark color: Bitch Black.

But on the minus side: Everything else.

(And the top of the bustier totally looks like the infamous Louis Vuitton bunny ears.)

I might have given this a chance or two, had Miss Stewart at least made the effort of looking like she gives a damn, but alas, her tightly-pursed lips and dry bitchface are making it all but impossible for me to do so.  

Sorry, Bella!

Score: 4/10