As we all know, there are many different kinds of fashion models these days.
(High fashion, Commercial, Plus-Sized, Unemployed...)
Well, I've always thought of Victoria's Secret model, Miranda Kerr, as having one of the most commercial faces in the industry:
Cute-as-a-button, approachable, and wholesome... even when strutting down the runway in a bejeweled g-string.
Well, imagine my surprise when I came across these shots from Numéro magazine, featuring our very own Australian-Angel-Next-Door, shot by photographer Greg Kadel.
Not only is she bringing the high fashion in a major way, she's also being kinda... slutty about it.
I know I regularly use the phrase "cross yourself before viewing," but in this case?
You damn well better, because these are some sacrilegious-delicious photos, right here.
(It's practically a photographic "Bad Girl's Checklist"!)
"Miranda Turns Up the Heat...
To Better Prepare Herself For An Eternity In Hell."
Normally, smoking in the lavatory would be enough to label oneself a bad girl, but Miranda felt the need to dial this bitch up a notch.
"Hide behind the rosary all you want, girl. You still aint got no pants on."
The phallic baseball bat wasn't enough.
They just had to throw in a few extra balls.
Sigh.
As if the world hadn't already been subjected to a plethora of "band camp" jokes...
That better be holy water comin' out of that janked-up fountain.
(For all our sakes.)
There are a couple of jokes sitting here:
One about "learning anatomy," the other about "supermodel diets."
I'll take the high road, just this once.
Oh, Sister Mary-Miranda, why so demure?
Knockin' da books...
I mean, hittin' da boots...
I mean: Shut up, we're all going to hell.
... Great.
Now, in addition to muffin tops, hidden calories, and raised expectations of myself, I have to add "God-sent lightning bolts" to the list of things I need to watch out for.
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