Um, Who Invited Her?

When I first heard that Victoria's Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely was set to appear in Burberry's Fall 2010 ad campaign, I was a bit incredulous.

I mean, aside from the posh-sounding, hyphenated last name, her pouty-lipped good looks didn't quite seem to fit in with the normal, pasty twinks (and twinkettes) that the British label usually opts for in their advertising campaigns...

Well, apparently the Burberry-Brains were also quite aware of this discrepancy, and found a (rather ingenious) solution to the problem:

"Book another model... One who possesses both paste-appeal and a pout that could shame a trout."

As a result, the shots totally work.

(The model-in-question is standing next to Rosie in the first image, second from left in the next.)

His and her twin-poutiness totally bridge the aesthetic gap between the models, making the groups seem more... cohesive.

That is, of course, if you believe that only people who look alike should be allowed to assosciate with one another.

(Which: Duh. This is fashion.)

And, somewhat hilariously, the shots where our Lord Huntington-Whitely is not present?

"Umm... we don't really know her. She's a friend of a friend."

***

... Aaand, this concludes our latest edition of:

"Overthinking Fashion Editorial With No Real Reason or Reward."

See you next time!

A Girl of Many Colors

While browsing through Brazilian designer Gloria Coelho's Carlota Joakina Spring/Summer 2010 collection, a great many things popped into my head.

Now, naturally, some were a bit more on the bitch-side of the fence than others...

But truth be told? I really like some of the modernity and originality on display here.

Now, that's not to say that I couldn't sift through my Pop Culture-Steel Trap of a mind to find some obvious influences, mind you.

For instance, this look?

And obvious, and loving, ode to one Miss Regina George, if I ever saw one:

Furthermore, taking the bra-exposure to a new level, we have this look:

Which you just know was scribbled down (in eyeliner pencil) onto a dirty yellow Post-It by Linds-Lohan, under the heading:

"Grocery Shopping/ Dumpster Diving Outfits: Rrrrl Cute!"

 

Not to mention this one, which probably caught our cokey-celebrity's attention for other... less legal reasons:

"Oh-mah-Guh, I can, like... wear my junk...on my body."

*Looks directly into the eyes of her probation officer*

"Would you buy that for me?"

(Aaand, Scene.)

... But the inspiration didn't seem to come only from Hollywood starlets.

There were also some pieces seemingly inspired by other collections, as well.

Namely, Versace Spring 2010.

This:

had a Basement Affair with This:

... And the resulting pregnancy gifted us with this:

Nah, but all lame jokes aside, this collection really was full of crafty ideas, interesting construction, a huge sense of fun (but not that kind, LiLo!) for the modern girl.

... Provided that said girl also has an innate lack of shame. 

(But then, what could be more modern than that?)

Taking It All the Way...

 

In my recent 3D editorial post, I made a passing comment about how the Third-Dimension Fashion-Sensation would finally reach it's true apex when the classic, red-and-blue glasses were given their (due) time in the spotlight, and on the runway...

Well, someone up above heard me.

And his name is Jean Paul Gaultier:

Not only do those glasses go perfectly with the hazy reds and blues of his collection, they all but confirm the truth of an adage that I, myself, have believed in for quite some time:

"When slapped onto the face of a pretty-boy male model, anything can look sexy."

Who Put The Acid In My Cocktail?

Okay.

Here's Estelle at the Malibu Rum party in New York City, wearing a dress that can only be described as "a tie-dyed orgy of neon fluorescence."

... And of course, I love it.

It's about as classy as a green stain on a woman's ring finger, but twice as much fun.

I mean, seriously:

How can you hate on that joyful explosion of bright, cheerful tackiness?

And I get the feeling that I'm not the only guest in attendance for the "Love-Fest Extravaganza"...

Come on out, guys. Don't be shy!

They got my back.

Rose Petal's Pumps

If you've never heard of the fabulous, late 80's cartoon "Rose Petal Place," let me give you a basic rundown.

A little girl had a garden full of beautiful flowers, but her parents forced her to move away from her home. On moving day, while saying her goodbyes to her floral friends, and shed a single tear on her favorite flower: the pink rose.

That tear was so full of love and joy, Rose Petal was born. A short time after birth, Rose Petal spread her animated seed (via the tear drop on her head, seen above) to the rest of the flowers of the garden. This act created a living, breathing, and singing community of fashionable, beautiful flower-girls.

... Uh, yeah. That's the kind of crap that I watched as a four year old...

(Is it really any wonder, then, that we find ourselves here today?)

Anyway, the reason I bring up my old friend is that French photographer Michel Tcherevkoff has used his photographic (and Photoshopic) skills to create a series of images that would have made Rose Petal slap a palm to her forehead, clutch her dew-drop necklace, and fall to the floor.

"Shoe Fleur":

Michel created these lovely, delicate images by taking actual photographs of flowers and plants and physically shaping and forming them into platforms, wedges, pumps, and gladiator sandals.

Of course, he later fired up the trusty old Photoshop for finishing touches and details, but seriously, these are some fantastic feats of imagination.

... Um, Rose Petal?

Get your booty up off the ground, pull out your sunflower-seed cellphone, and give his ass a call!

Dope Rope

When one looks at an image such as this, it is natural to assume that such a heavy, unwieldy textile could only really be used for hemline details or waist-cinchers in the world of fashion...  

(That is, if it could even be used at all.)

Well, creative mind Phuong Thuy Nguyen took one look at these thick-ass ropes and thought to herself:

"Shawls... Collars... Fashionable cocoons."

Now, obviously Miss Phuong is functioning on a different wavelength than the rest of us, but her work really speaks for itself:

Totally interesting, unique, and beautiful.

I mean, does the red piece kinda look like a home-made "Red M&M" costume? Hmm... I can see that. 

And does the yellow one look a bit like a woven, stand-up laundry basket? Well, now that you mention it...

But still, these are beautifully constructed, whimsical, and pretty much amazing, considering what she had to work with.

So really, these garments may be heavy on the body, and they may be stiff to the touch, but those two traits only matter if you ignore the third, and most important, fact: they're pleasing to the eye.

I'd play tug-of-war with you any day, Phuong...

Even if it means going face-first in the dirt.

Fiber Optics

You know how, a few years ago, everyone was going on about how "fiber optics are the wave of the future" and that they would change the medical and technological worlds and blah blah blah?

Well, they weren't just talking about the dazzling fiber optic Christmas tree displays, several of which I myself have owned and consequently left in front of my neighbors apartments.

(True story, ask the brother.)

And they also weren't just talking about the fiber optic cameras that have been created and utilized for surgical purposes.

No. They were talking about something much, much greater.

And we have Italian-born designer, Francesca Castagnacci, to thank for finally ushering in the future on a four-inch heel:

Fiber. Optic. Shoes.

Yep, this brilliant creative mind has woven optical fibres into the fabric she uses in creating her line of footwear, and the results are nothing short of... well, optical opulence.

Now, the only question that remains is:

Who's gonna help me day-time stalk my neighbors, get my old Christmas tree back to it's rightful owner, and get "Operation Busted-Budget Christmas Tree Pumps" underway?

... Anyone?

The Plot Thickens...

For this editorial, taken from the July 2010 issue of US Vogue, photographer Peter Lindbergh shoots Ewan McGregor and Natalia Vodianova as a Kennedy-esque family who goes through the ups and downs (meaning: the grins and death-glares) of married life.

Now, as I've said before, I love editorials that seem to tell a wordless story, and this one does so as good as any I've ever seen.

(Plus, it was edited by the fabulous, flame-maned Grace Coddington, so you just know it's gonna be fire.)

"The Honeymoon's Over...

But the Fun is Just Beginning"

Ralph Lauren Collection

The Fated Love Affair Begins:

Tell-Tale Sign #1? Their dogs already match.

Prada

Despite having to vie with (two) other little ladies for the husband's affections, our heroine maintains her chic.

Nina Ricci

...But not even the cutest of dresses can cover up the cracks that have already begun to form.

(Fashion can only save lives, not marriages.)

Vera Wang

And so, our courageous (aka: trifling) heroine finds the joys of male attention elsewhere.

(Namely, in the eyes of a shiny new boy-toy.)

Dries Van Noten

"No, I can talk a little longer... He pays my phone bills, anyway.

Um, was that your mom on the line? You should probably take out the trash like she's asking.

... Yeah, I'll stay on the line till you finish."

Marc Jacobs

A wine-soaked argument: the perfect ending to a perfect night on the town.

Next stop: Laying flat in bed, staring at the ceiling, whispering barely-audible insults at each other.

Oscar de la Renta

The first step: Taking the kids, packing the bags, and getting the eff out...

After buying three adorable "Kicking Daddy's Ass to the Curb" outfits, of course.

Dolce & Gabbana

The Second Step: Feeling Perfectly Empty.

Meaning: Feeling perfect after emptying out every single savings and checking account within your legal limits.

Lanvin

The Third Step: Questioning whether or not it was all worth it...

(Her head/heart says no, but her Jackie-O-Fabulous ensemble screams "Um. Duh, bitch!")

Rochas

The Fourth Step: Acceptance and Assurance.

"Yes, I accept your offer to go on a joy-ride, Boy-Toy...

I mean, you just got your license and all, so I'm sure it's safe."

***

Seriously, though, all of Natalia's outfits look so en pointe with the vibe of the Kennedy-era that it's really kind of amazing that each one came from the Fall 2010 collections...

Grace? Have an unpaid intern go out and grab you a cookie.

(Only: Don't you dare eat that shit in front of Anna. I want to see you stick around for awhile.)

Fashion Editorial, the 3D Remix

For the new issue of Remix magazine, photographer Garth Badger obviously felt that the barriers of two-dimensionality have been holding the fashion world back for too long...

That is why he decided to take the plunge into the third dimension by following the example set by movie theaters, comic books, and (most recently) high-definition televisions.

In other words, he's going 3D in this bitch.

Now, if you ask me, he missed a golden opportunity by skipping over the chance to slap a set of old-school, red-and-blue 3D glasses on the model and asking her to work it like it's 1987...

But still, a fun idea is a fun idea:

"It's almost as if you could reach out and touch the model... 

But please don't. She's temperamental and hasn't eaten today."

Disoriented by the futuristic third dimension, our model takes a tumble.

(Obviously, they're still working out some the kinks in this new fashion-phase...)

I love this.

I mean, why bother going out to see a brilliant 3D movie like "Toy Story 3" when you can instead sit in the comfort of your own home and get your "open-mouth gaze" on with a fashion rag?

And if you say something like "plot" or "depth of emotion," I implore you to take another look at that second shot...

Truly heart-breaking.